RADDY-B.BS!

before im gone.

2010-08-23T21:28:00.002+08:00

suddenly i've lost all my interest in blogging here. who knows, maybe i'll move permanently to my other sites. till then, sayonara.

as i keep on wishing.

2010-08-22T03:53:00.002+08:00

sometimes i would like to believe that im born in this world to dance. but then again i keep giving myself 1001 excuses to polish up on my skills. when will i be motivated to dance? like moose, i wish i could do two majors at one time too, major in hotel admin and also major in dance.

2010-08-18T21:22:00.001+08:00

my heart is not at ease.

the string on my neck.

2010-08-18T16:35:00.003+08:00

there are times that i miss my peace necklace that i left inside sentosa's toilet the other day while i was bathing after work cause i didnt wanna wet it but right now, i dont think i'll ever miss it again. and im glad that it got replaced with a one-of-a-kind necklace that i've been wearing ever since i got it. but right now, im kinda missing a huggable jacket that has been an asset on my bed. it has been returned to its rightful owner. :/

nuff said.

2010-08-16T01:16:00.002+08:00

when i'm tired, i start to type nonsense. on the other hand, its when the hormones take control of me as i keep this raging hormones on their best behaviour this month. as we know, im kinky.

peterpan syndrome.

2010-08-14T02:00:00.001+08:00

sometimes.

2010-08-13T15:06:00.003+08:00

sometimes i question myself and just keep questioning myself.

what do i do without you?

2010-08-13T01:01:00.002+08:00

markers, packet milk, phu chu kang, hot dickies at bazaar, roti kirai, polaroid, webcams, mask and bestie love.

im here and will always be.

2010-08-12T01:53:00.002+08:00

i'll wear the string around my neck everyday

i'll embrace the substitute of your warmth every night

i've promised to be by your side every second, if you allow me to

if you allow me to.

bagai bintang di syurga.

2010-08-11T20:49:00.000+08:00

be gone, be good.

2010-08-11T16:03:00.003+08:00

it has been difficult for me to sleep these past few nights. the brain has been thinking alot lately. i hate the feeling of hot and cold. its like one moment you know that someone is yours, definitely yours but the next moment, you feel like he'll be gone in a second. i think the exact answer is i am insecure not with the love or relationship but with myself. sometimes, i feel that i am not worthy enough to be loved. its not me to have exceptionally low confident level but lately, it happens. and when it happens, it felt as if a knife has stabbed through my heart and as much as i want to see the blood to make me feel real, it doesnt. i just need someone to tell me im okay, and that im really okay. its the first day of ramadhan, may this month be a blessing in disguise for me cause i know i've not been an angel the last one.

in a blink of eye.

2010-08-08T22:29:00.001+08:00

when the time really comes, i am prepared. forgive those tears that came streaming down my face, i was caught off guard.

skype is better than msn!

2010-08-08T03:22:00.000+08:00

at first i feel bad for a while.

2010-08-08T02:52:00.001+08:00

lily baby, though you have weird fashion sense here and its obvious that you're high, its okay, i forgive you for your music is sexy and its a-awesome!

pucker up little r.

2010-08-07T23:13:00.004+08:00

pardon me for being self-obsessed lately. but oh wells, at least there's photos rather than plain black and white, yeah? anyway, got myself a new baby today, yet again. not another skateboard though. one day you'll see.

Got a special thang goin on.

2010-08-07T17:31:00.001+08:00

You say it's puppy love
We say it's full grown
Hope that we feel this
Feel this way forever.

boys, you know i love you.

2010-08-07T17:02:00.001+08:00

professor green & michael cera ♥

one day, my baby sing to me.

2010-08-07T15:01:00.002+08:00

Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You'll know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This one's for you.

sophie baby, i miss you.

2010-08-07T14:20:00.000+08:00

i have the peterpan syndrome.

2010-08-07T03:01:00.000+08:00

if you go, leave me down here on my own, i'll wait for you.

2010-08-07T02:53:00.003+08:00

everyday i wake up knowing the fact that you might leave me someday is disheartening. i cant be selfish at this point of time cause it's one of your dreams. as the other half, i'll have to support you. as much as it hurts me, i know it hurts you too. should you pursue you dreams, in years time i'll be done with school and who knows, you might be mine forever. for that, i'll wait for you.

you dont know how lovely you are.

2010-08-06T00:40:00.002+08:00

we can live like jack and sally if we want.

2010-08-05T03:18:00.000+08:00

note to self.

2010-08-05T01:14:00.002+08:00

please dont turn into a secophile again.

i need fats, big time.

2010-08-04T23:40:00.001+08:00

i've lost weight, and i aint happy at all. 1kg to others is easy to gain, 1kg to me is the hardest to gain.

desperate housewife next?

2010-08-04T16:09:00.002+08:00

apart from being a potential MILF, im gonna be a good housewife someday ya'know. apart from the brains i suppose... but i have a long way to go. first i need to know how to cook a rice. (that's why i wanna find a husband who can cook.) depressing much, okay go on laugh at it. thats why sue's laughing at me. hahahaha, desperate housewife much. im off to sweep. -.-"

milf much.

2010-08-04T01:31:00.003+08:00

if my girls imagine me this way, i dont even wanna think how the boys imagined me to be.

2010-08-03T23:12:00.001+08:00

there i was staring, and i got myself tearing... for insecurities reason.

fractions.

2010-08-03T15:50:00.002+08:00

(minus the typo errors, i hate itouch auto correction)

this woman over here practically thought that i was kidnapped yesterday night. this is just, let me see, 1/10th of the nonsense i get from her on a random night. anywhoos, i believe that there's a balance of 4/5th of the nonsense i've not been getting. okay make that 3/5th cause ena still give me random videos on fb. so where have the other fractions gone?

momma, i love you, you know.

2010-08-02T15:23:00.002+08:00

i know i dont say it often. and sometimes i may come across that i dont love you, but i do actually. more than anything. sometimes i lie to you big time cause sometimes i wished you were more outgoing, but sometimes im glad that you're just the way you are cause that actually helped me to not be lead astray... although, im half done. nevertheless, i love you mom. i do. you know we dont practice this in our family but deep inside we know we love each other more than anything in the world. just wait for my first 10k and i'll bring you out to anywhere you want momma, cause you're the best! but first i need to grad, find a real god job... or i could always find a rich husband. (:

they say romeo must die, i say romeo must stay.

2010-07-31T20:36:00.002+08:00

im not a fan of honey coated words
i say words from deep inside
if i hate you, i would say it straight
if i love you, i would love you right.

if you need to know, no you dont need to know.

2010-07-31T14:53:00.002+08:00

behind her eyes, something she hides
concealed behind her smile, she covers with lies
if you ask, she'll try to avoid
but if you insist, she'll tell you why.

cause love is about breaking rules isnt it?

2010-07-31T00:16:00.002+08:00

How could he say that, he loves me unconditionally
But still put so many rules, and restrictions on me?
- amanda blank.

i like this line so much. anyway, this isnt directed to my man.

i dont like the taste of their morality.

2010-07-31T00:09:00.002+08:00

how simple three words from you brighten my night and soften my heart, giving me a peace of mind to enjoy my sleep soon enough. its true they said that if the three words are not uttered every day, the greater the meaning when it is said once in a blue moon. afterall, love is not a routine.

sometimes you push the wrong button sister.

2010-07-29T15:11:00.002+08:00

although i say im childish, sometimes i act beyond my age. and the only time i think maturely is when im planning for my future or when im angry. but the latter is the one you should be wary of. cause right now, trust me, im this close to losing my cool towards you sister. ignorance is a bliss but dont use your ignorance on me. let this be a warning to you. if you act and think your age, maybe you'll know this is for you.

By far, he is.

2010-07-29T10:31:00.002+08:00

Cause my man is sexy, nuff said brother!

mindfuck.

2010-07-29T02:57:00.002+08:00

dont push me to the edge brother.

2010-07-29T00:27:00.003+08:00

i'll let the truth burn me inside out
before i spit every single thing out
common sense says you'll figure it out
before the fire burns everything out.

live performances please come to SG.

2010-07-28T14:19:00.001+08:00

i want to go to day 1 and 3 of Singfest just so i could see Katy Perry, Lupe Fiasco and Kanye West performs. you know who will make the line up even better, Eminem and No Doubt. seriously, i want ND to come to Singapore again. and if they ever come again, no one will ever stop me, NO ONE, even if i have to go alone and make friends there. the one thing i've regretted last year.

the reason sometime i rhyme.

2010-07-28T13:15:00.003+08:00

my baby look hotter here and better being a brunette than a blonde. sorry pharrell, im gonna pick eminem anytime over you. no one is hotter than eminem.

open your hips, open your hips to me.

2010-07-28T13:04:00.001+08:00

itouch baby.

2010-07-28T12:56:00.004+08:00

my life recently revolves around my itouch. previously, i thought i couldnt survive a day without my laptop but now, i couldnt survive a day without my itouch. its my precious orange gem. facebook, tap tap revenge 3, words with friends and private messages. now, who has a words with friends app? add me @raddyb.

sorry, still no photos of hong kong here. im lazy with the capital L. maybe someday when i have the photography mood, i'll snap photos.

basics first.

2010-07-28T02:25:00.002+08:00

the other day i've mentioned i had a new baby to play with. well guess what, that new baby is my new deck. after so long, finally i've got myself a deck. i need to learn skate 101 first while waiting for the other half to complete revamping his own deck. cant wait for a skate date.

hong kong, we love hong kong.

2010-07-27T17:32:00.002+08:00

after im done uploading the pictures on facebook, maybe i'll be good and post some here and what actually happened on my virgin trip with friends to HONG KONG, a place where pushing is actually legal unlike Singapore.

if i could cast a spell.

2010-07-26T01:27:00.002+08:00

i miss:

1. my long hair
2. the six of us together
3. man bitch
4. the tp babes
5. my homeboys

cause seeing the other girls still standing strong breaks my heart, cause we were stronger than brick of walls.

i was never shy to be called a luge girl.

2010-07-25T00:51:00.003+08:00

in a few hours time, it will be the last time i'll be wearing my luge uniform. somehow i cant wait for it to end. when i first came into luge, i was excited as that is what i love doing. somehow, along the road, my love died and so is my determination and motivation. however, never once i've regretted being a luge crew.

many said i was dumb to have chose luge, many said i was stupid to re-enter luge. no one supported me cause they said luge's a dumpster. however, luge is not a dumpster and a place for the hopeless. there, i met people from all walks of life. people whom you'll love, people whom are your bestfriends, people whom are your worst enemies and people whom you'll only see once in your life.

good things they always come to an end. now i officially say this is the end for me as a crew. but fret not, i'll never forget luge for luge is the most memorable place for me.

my sunshine.

2010-07-25T00:33:00.002+08:00

i still cant believe after years of trying to find the one, i finally found the one. i'd never believed a thing the past said; that one day i'll find someone who'll love me as much as i do, who'll treasure me as much as i treasure him cause the boys after him, well they come and go but not this one.

initially, i had a little faith with the other half. i still can't believe that the other half was the one i fell the hardest for as he wasn't on my radar neither was i on his. it felt so surreal and i can't thank god enough for giving me the chance to love a man like him. everyone have their flaws and perfections, even i do. but what makes the bond between us interesting is that we give and take and understand what love means to us and for us.

thanks for loving me for who i am. thanks for bringing the inner child in me which i lost, to life again. thanks for bringing genuine smiles that'll never fade away. thanks for making me realise the importance of understanding one another. thanks for teaching me life lessons. thanks for being in my life, my love.

Words with loves.

2010-07-23T00:15:00.001+08:00

Am playing word with friends with mom now after she saw me playing words with friends with the other half. It seems like a great bonding session with me and her. (Y)

whenever im alone with you, you make me feel like im fun again.

2010-07-15T03:15:00.002+08:00

just a little something before im gone for 5 days, great escape here i come!

love is the sweetest joy... and the deepest pain.

2010-07-15T01:33:00.003+08:00

there are at times i just wanna slice off your meat and be a cannibal for once as love is murderous, but one thing i've learnt, ego is never healthy to be consumed when you're madly in love with someone. but, making up after a fight is the greatest feeling. somehow, i felt closer after the fight cause through fights, we got to know each other's dislike.

was in the mist of thinking of you when i saw your photo blinking on the mobile. now, that is what i call a coincidence from heaven. and your voice is angelic and sexy at the same time that i wished i had a superpower of a jumper and jump over to your room just to hug you and kiss you, cause you're irresistible like that. and when you laugh, you made me smile the widest.

" kerana engkaulah cinta, kerana itulah ku bahagia. "

so what now brown cow?

2010-07-13T22:52:00.002+08:00

yes and so my orange boys made it second, but im not disappointed in them. cause i know they did their best and tried to make us proud and keep going although they are left with ten men on the field. *a hug for every single one of them orange boys*

anyway, world cup is so yesterday. one more day till my great escape. grins

World cup fever finally caught me.

2010-07-12T04:11:00.002+08:00

Can't believe that i'm awake watching world cup right now. But oh wells, I'm rooting for the orange to win tonight cause the spains seems like a bore tonight. And btw referee, you might as well give everyone a yellow card baby at the rate you're going.

2010-07-10T23:44:00.002+08:00

tried to heal, tried to conceal
emotions aren't a brick of walls
tired to stop, tried to halt
words that came out were harsh and hard

silence and dry, sobbed and cry
tears replaced words that were sealed
forgiveness to be forgiven, sleep with a ray of hope
that tomorrow will be a brand new day all over again.

my oh my.

2010-07-10T00:43:00.002+08:00

and so i thought only fb's photo uploader is being a female dog, apparently blogger's photo uploader is following suit too. and so my wish of making this space colorful wont happen tonight. i suppose this is another mundane post. now dont blame me, blame the uploaders people, cause at least i tried to decorate the site. at least the thought counts right? :/

singapore, she's just a tiny red dot.

2010-07-09T13:07:00.001+08:00

its such a small world afterall, no wait. let me rephrase this. singapore is such a small tiny island that without me knowing, im actually travelling to hong kong with a cousin of mine that i've never seen before. maybe this trip will re-connect us after 20 years of not knowing each other's existence. now, im excited!

formerly known as.

2010-07-09T03:49:00.002+08:00

i think i've lost my sketch books together with my desire to sketch. i've not put my creative juices to good use. now that i have a reason to make gifts, maybe these juices will flow again.

pharrell sang to me one night.

2010-07-08T04:12:00.002+08:00

her ass is a spaceship you wanna ride,
she sexy!

bring me back to those days.

2010-07-08T02:15:00.004+08:00

when music is this good.

deep thoughts from within.

2010-07-08T01:07:00.003+08:00

sometimes i thank the people around me for sharing their life experiences with me. i guess im lucky enough to have met people from different walks of life, religions and races. and i thank those people around me for the bad life experiences which taught me to be stronger and who i am today. im turning the big 2 in 5 months time and an unpredicted future awaits me. i couldnt agree more when the other half keep telling me that i have alot to learn about life.

people, they come, they go. what's new? people, they bitch, we bitch. it's just human nature man. no matter how hard we try to be holy and not talk about others, im afraid we all fall into that human trap cause sometimes emotions get the best of us. people tend to get emotional, too emotional that they became a pessimist and think only the negatives. as for myself, i dont see myself as a pessimist, instead i see myself as an optimist with sadistic thoughts. okay, just kidding. but the point is, dont you get tired of being a pessimist? well, i do cause it hurts watching someone you love to be under pressure and sucked in by the pessimists. and it hurts even more when one doesnt know the meaning of happiness anymore. maybe right now im in this stage whereby im happy and contented with life, that's why im extra optimistic and cheerful these days. but even so, i've learnt that ignorance is a bliss. ignore those who dont matter and focus on greater things. cause i believe that only you can control your mind. if you want yourself to be happy, there are no excuses, no buts, no ifs, just yes; determination of achieving the hierarchy of needs.

just a gentle reminder, the moment you gave up on yourself is the moment the people who loves you gave up on you. cause why bother loving someone who doesnt even love himself/herself. and why go through the hassle of trying to motivate the person when he/she is stubborn and adamant that everything is wrong and that nothing could be done to change what's wrong. so the moment i'd stop caring, is the moment i'd give up on you. so dont let that day ever come. cause once im gone, im gone. like i say, people come, people go. i wouldnt hesitate to live, if you dont bother to start loving yourself. never ever drive me to a point whereby i really meant it when i say fuck you. well im just saying...

to one his own.

2010-07-08T00:52:00.004+08:00

spent about one hour reading about lady gaga and her illuminati facts on a website. truth is, i've never understood her videos, really. the only reason i hummed to her songs is simple, catchy. and now after reading the website, finally i understood her videos. this is a free world, everyone is allowed to have their own thinking and perception. i never really knew what illuminati was at first. that word was a sudden outburst on my facebook wall thanks to the anti-illuminati. i'd never really cared but my curious mind wanted to know what the hell is illuminati. so i googled it and the facts were literally a capital B. so instead i've asked around and they gave me the answers and asked me to read up the website and some videos posted on youtube. well, its kinda freaky after reading the articles but oh what the hell, lady gaga is afterall theatrical. i'll still sing to her songs but that doenst mean i share the same beliefs as her. singing is afterall a totally different thing to praising something. oh wells, life goes on. goodbye hollywood, this is singapore.

sun rays.

2010-07-07T00:04:00.002+08:00

im glad you came and you've stayed. you've made my miserable life, less miserable. with that i have to thank you, my love, for being the best i could ever have. nuff said.

crubbing floors are calling.

2010-07-04T00:46:00.002+08:00

to come and think of it, the last time i've partied in a club was... a year ago. hahahhahahahahahaha, pathetic much aye. oh, life as a curfew-ed teen.

imy.

2010-07-03T10:05:00.001+08:00

my day doesnt start right, my night doesnt end right. come home soon sunshine, cause it feels dark without you around.

magic, it works both ways.

2010-07-02T01:26:00.002+08:00

after years, finally i've gathered all my courage and deleted you out of my system. finally your wish came true and my prayers have been answered and that is... i've finally moved on. for real.

these are what best define luge, in my perspective that is.

2010-07-02T01:12:00.002+08:00

bricks and stones, sticks and bones.

2010-07-01T12:51:00.001+08:00

i'll love you like bricks and stones

till im all sticks and bones.

it tastes so sweet when it runs down your throat.

2010-07-01T04:19:00.004+08:00

just the other day, i smell the scent of the the vivacious vod. now, im smelling the scent of the cunning chi. and so nonsense became sensible and pleasurable when we have the right people to do it with us. its 4am in the morning and if you could understand what im babbling, then well done. you must have been mixing with alot of the deeards.

favourite things in life.

2010-06-30T00:24:00.001+08:00

come back and haunt me.

2010-06-29T21:39:00.003+08:00

now, we've been bestfriends for almost half a decade and i didnt expect you of all people to make me tear right in the middle of orchard. i was otw to paragon, thinking of a perfect birthday gift to celebrate it with you. after getting it wrong the first time, i must admit it was my mistake to not even remember when's your actual birthday. that, i apologise. accept my humble apology. yes, you've had crappy days but you dont have to vent it on me. hey, i was your happy pill remember? so what if i've been absent from your life, that doesnt mean you cant message me asking me to cheer you up or something. cause you know, i would always count on you to make me smile. so yes, you could count on me to make you smile. though i've made new friends, that doesnt mean i dont remember you as my bestfriend. you, of all people should know how much i treasure my friends, my bestfriends especially. im disappointed you've let your ego talk to me instead of you. for what i've did, i've apologised. sorry for not spending my time with you like how we used to. but if this is how things are going, i dont know what the future will hold for us when im gone to university, you're gone to ns and now that i have the other half. i really wished what happened today didnt happen but im sorry, you've hurt me. i need time to heal.

seventeen more days. im counting down to seventeen more days.

honestly and truly.

2010-06-29T01:34:00.002+08:00

i like the way you move
i like the way you stare
i like the way you look
i like the way you hug
i like the way you kiss
i like the way you talk
i like the way you laugh
i like the way you sound
i like you enough to love you.

where are you?

2010-06-24T00:15:00.002+08:00

cant seem to sleep till i hear your voice. hates it when the mailbox is talking to me instead of you. its midnight and my anxiety level is very high. now, where on earth can you be?

im tired, nuff said.

2010-06-22T02:47:00.003+08:00

was serving a guest who was carrying his little kiddo when my maternal instinct finally struck me. the little boy was adorable that i held my hand out to give him a high 5. so while i was keying on POS system, he was grabbing my fingers. that was when everything inside me soften out and i just smiled at the kiddo with dreamy eyes. maybe that's the feeling i'll get when i give birth to my child, one day.

my monday felt like a saturday thanks to the crowd at work. even so, my days are all jumbled up thanks to the un-fixed off days. my weekdays feel like weekends and my weekends feel like weekday. nevertheless, time past by faster and so you know it, i'll be back to a schoolgirl. new school, new friends all over again. do you know that i hate getting to know new friends, cause i suck at getting to know each other. maybe you guys dont realise, but im a pretty shy girl. honestly and truly. those who knew me for years would know that im the shiest cause when i go shopping, i would ask my friends to ask the price for me. not that im lazy, but im just shy. hahah, phebe and anne experience this a couple of times already.

they say the sun shines to brighten up the earth surface, i say you're my sunshine that shines through my life. yes, you're annoying but dont stop being annoying cause thats what attracted me to you in the first place.

its nurturing.

2010-06-21T00:42:00.003+08:00

truth to be told, im afraid of relationships. its like the people surrounding me are always fighting for god knows what reason. honestly, i dont see a point in constant fights. and when i point it out, the exact sentence words tht'll come out is that my turn has yet to come.

there are so many things i would like to say to you, my love but it seems that i would rather keep it to myself than let the whole world knows about it. i dont wanna brag or be too excited about us cause it's still too early to tell. nonetheless, you're still the best.

sugar, you're as sweet as cotton candy.

2010-06-16T01:07:00.002+08:00

i'll get butterflies in my stomach when i see you walking past me. in silence, i'll blush when adrenaline starts to kick in. sometimes i'll smile to myself when i reminisced about your silly antics. and when our fingers intertwined, there's nothing more that could make me feel safer. you've got me breaking all my rules, for you're worth the risk im taking.

crap is never over-rated.

2010-06-16T00:55:00.002+08:00

cause they're one of the best i could ever have on this earth surface.

Mom and dad who are catching up with the modern day.

2010-06-15T13:24:00.004+08:00

With mom's latest electronic gadget; iPod touch, mom now has three games gadget. She bought herself a psp, a nintendo ds and now iPod touch. Whereas my dad now owns a notebook. Okay so you guys might say, oh what the hell, now is the high tech season what. But.... Seriously for a housewife to own three games gadget is way too much. Don't you think so? Okay so I'm complaining that mom owns more gadgets than I do. Soon enough mom will have facebook. Zzzzz. And about fashion, dad wants an adidas superstar sneakers or a Jack purcell. Berg pe bapak ku skg?

jelas di wajah, rahsia hati.

2010-06-15T02:57:00.002+08:00

dalam kehidupan ini yang terindah, melalui usia remaja. senda gurau suka duka, sering berganti meninggalkan kesan abadi. oh berdebar-debar hatinya, kali pertama bertentang mata. inilah pengalaman, harus ditempuhi setiap insan. kenakalan atau kesungguhan, sukar mencari perbezaan. betapa kau cuba melindungi....

Announcement for all the gents.

2010-06-14T23:13:00.002+08:00

Starting from today, i want the whole world to know that my heart belongs to one person only. So, dont try to get lucky or fresh with me cause I won't entertain your bullshits. Unless you're already within my social circle. Cause truth to be told, I'm done flinging around or trying to find toyboys. That era is passé for me. Thank you very nice.

irreplacable.

2010-06-14T13:15:00.000+08:00

favour please, diam boleh?

2010-06-14T12:53:00.002+08:00

this is the second time my beauty sleep is disturbed by a renovation that is happening near my unit. the first time was above my unit, now its the unit below mine. on the bright side, its great that that family who lived in that unit has finally moved. i have no idea what she has against my family but everytime she sees me (oh its a mom btw) she'll give a fucked up face. -.-" like, ermm hello, im way younger than you and i have no interest in your sons at all. nope. nuh-uh.

its a wet monday morning and all i wanna do is sleep. i need to catch up on my sleep. seems like dreamland wanna reconnect with me but due to certain circumstances it cant. this week's roster is a bore. zzzzzzzz. cb lah, even with headphones blasted, i can still hear the drilling. knnccb! irrit sia.

It's a private affair between me and you.

2010-06-12T01:45:00.002+08:00

The world doesn't have to know just what we're made for.

the ramblings of a teenager.

2010-06-11T00:34:00.003+08:00

here i am lying on my bed typing a post when im supposed to be asleep about an hour ago. my eyes are already tired but it seems that when im on my bed, it doesnt seem to shut. doesnt it annoy you that when you're outside you're effing tired but when you're at home, on your bed ready to sleep, you're actually wide awake.

lacking of sleep is no joke. it adds on to my eyebags (it took me one minute to figure out what its called), irritation, frustration and retardation of the brain. wardrobe needs a new makeover. im contemplating on the idea of selling away my old clothes that i don't wanna anymore. that way i can get some money to do some shopping. it seems that great singapore sale is calling me.

and it seems that some hate my new short hair. :'( do i really look that ugly? now that dampens my self esteem (again, it took me 30 seconds to figure out the word. brain is slowing down). it seems like its been ages since i last saw my bestfriends and homeboys. schedule seems to clash, now i question myself, when will i quit work.

i need a holiday before school starts. till then, i'll work my ass off. my heart's heavy and i have no idea why. insecurities start to crept in the silence of the night. im exhausted. sleep fairy, splat some sleepy dust on me, now i demand.

half a boy they say.

2010-06-09T23:55:00.002+08:00

yes people have been calling me "boy" lately. but the last time i checked, im still high on dicks rather than pussy. so tht means, im positive im straight.

cliche as it seems, its the fact of life.

2010-06-08T23:51:00.002+08:00

i've typed a whole chunk of words but i found myself deleting everything an hour later. it seems paramore's the only exception is a perfect fit to sum up this whole entry cause the things that i've typed revolved around that song. and that is, that you're my only exception.

and i'll keep tap-tap-tapping on my itouch.

2010-06-06T00:29:00.002+08:00

favourite part, 3:02. cause reggae beats can never escape my ear, ever.

we can pop bottles all night.

2010-06-06T00:17:00.001+08:00

Long as you got me, you won't need nobody
Baby you can go wherever you like
I said, you can go wherever you like, yeah

natural talent.

2010-06-04T12:12:00.002+08:00

doesnt she reminds you of someone?

and so i know.

2010-06-03T21:55:00.001+08:00

that's when we rely on the ones we love to pull us back and give us something to hold on to - gossip girl.

the time will come.

2010-06-03T19:52:00.001+08:00

i miss playing dress up.

mama, saya nak party boleh?

2010-06-03T00:13:00.002+08:00

i've just realised that danny masterson aka hyde from tht 70's show is a celebrity dj @ indochine cq this friday. oh man, its too bad tht my off days are on thurs & fri and not fri & sat! knnccb. oh baby, i need a life soon enough. work and home and work and home is doing me no justice to life.

le'sigh.

2010-06-03T00:04:00.003+08:00

sometimes i wish killing is legal, but then again, i dont think i'll be alive now cause i know some of which who's dying for me to be dead. so darling, be my gambit and save me again and again.

cause i wasnt expecting you.

2010-06-01T09:08:00.001+08:00

who knew you turned out to be the reason for my smiles.

we're the underdogs.

2010-05-31T00:20:00.003+08:00

maybe someday the sky will be colored with our love.

to err is human.

2010-05-30T19:29:00.002+08:00

i am happy tht all of you are proud of me, but sometimes im afraid tht i'll screw everything up and instead of being proud of me, all of you will be disappointed in me. the smiles on your faces are the best thing i've ever seen on this earth surface and your tears are my biggest fears. i'll try to do my best but sometimes im only human.

hi, im alice and your body is my wonderland.

2010-05-27T23:14:00.004+08:00

if its alright, now tht i've found you, please stay.

2010-05-27T09:43:00.002+08:00

now tht im feeling sexy, will you comfort me tonight?

not the hopeless romantic.

2010-05-25T23:06:00.002+08:00

you, you never fail to turn my frowns into a smile. you, you'll find ways to annoy me cause seeing me annoyed make you a little happy inside for a very sick person like you. but no matter how irritating, annoying, frustrating of a person you can be, you're always the best, you're my best! happy girls are the prettiest, i guess im at my prettiest when im with you. the days will fly by fast enough, and you'll be in my arms once again.

egocentric.

2010-05-23T02:38:00.003+08:00

My attitude is tattooed
That mean it's permanent, so I guess we should address it, huh?
You can learn how to dress just for checking my fresh
Checking-checking my fresh, checking-checking my fresh
You can pay for school but you can't buy class
Now when it comes to styles, I got several
Ha! What the fuck you boys talking 'bout?
I know it's us cause we the only thing you talk about
- kanye, jayz, wayne, T.I

word of caution, im not interested in your man. before you go around pointing your delicate fingers on me, i think god gave you a brain to at least think first. on a separate issue, the other you, yes you, you're not one of my favorite's too. you dont have to go around telling people how much you loathe me, cause honey, our story is so yesterday.

you is ze best!

2010-05-23T02:25:00.002+08:00

the journey will not be an easy one but together, we'll make it through whatever.

And givin' me your best
And you give me the most gorgeous sleep
I'm really lucky
You're really lovely
- no doubt.

i'll keep you safe, you're my dirty little secret.

shall i rhyme your hatred.

2010-05-22T01:39:00.003+08:00

too proud to admit
too shy to apologise
least honest nor humble
you'll die and stumble.